Day 6: 09/13/12

I have to find a better way to fit blogging into my life. I really enjoy this and can't believe I've acutely kept it up this week. I honestly didn't think I would last this long on this. I always for get or let it slide. I am very surprised that I have let it slide only once this week. I am even trying to keep up and plan ahead. I'm very impressed with myself. Am I using this just to complain? I just don't think so. I honestly don't think so. I am working through stuff but is it easy? No. Will I want to work at it? No. But I will I need to for me for the people in my life. We will call the person who raped me "x".

Do you know what you took from me that night? More than anything else you took away my trust for everyone. You have made me doubt my fiancé. The man I love with my whole heart. Because of you i flinch when he touches me. Do you know how patient he has been? Because he has never given up on me and never pushes me into something I can't handle. It shouldn't be that difficult to let him hold my hand. I'm not comfortable when he strokes my hair I have to fight to sit there with him. I flinch, shiver and fight not retreating into myself. You took so much how do I get that back? I honestly don't know. But I know that I will make it through because of the people in my life. But mostly because of the man who stands by me everyday and is the one fighting this battle with me.

Get Thru This - Art of Dying

Thanks,
Suz